Tuesday, 22 May 2012

  • don't be such a butthurt (triggers?)

    Forewarning: May have many triggers. Please don't read if you trigger easily :I This is just something that's been bothering me for a while.



    Some people honestly get too 'butthurt' - for a lack of a better description - over certain things, especially fictional characters and movies.

    Just to name off a few examples: The Dictator. Many people are literally flying off the handle over the movie. It's meant to be humourous, not a perpetuation of racism - at least, that's how I interpreted it to be. /Any/ actor is going to be of a certain race and people that are displeased just because they aren't white are too.... butthurt. This is like Hunger Games all over again. If they're a good actor, stuff some popcorn, chug a soda, and enjoy.

    On another note, if any of you read Homestuck, there's a pairing called VriskaxTavros, where Tavros is basically this really shy, far-from-confident male that often gets 'bullied' by Vriska because she wants to make him stronger. Some fandom-ers do bloody acrobatic pirouettes off the handle when they see the pair because they call it abuse. I understand some people have awful pasts; EVERYONE does. Everyone has that 'secret' that they keep hidden, waiting to spring whenever the wrong thing is said. It could be something severe or minor, but everyone's different. Still, I don't understand why people can't just ignore it; if you don't like it, DON'T LOOK AT IT.

    It's all a matter of perspective. I've had a friend just like Vriska who bullied me in freshman year. One time, she just kept repeatedly punching my head as I walked to the buses until I cried (I think everyone thought she was joking around, but.... whatever). It's not like I fly off the handle when I see that.

    This is going to sound absolutely ignorant to some, but I believe certain people - just in general - like to wallow in self pity. I'VE BEEN THERE, TOO. For some people, any event can be the center of their life, whether it be for a long time or a couple months. I had an unrequited crush - I mean, I guess I liked him a lot more than that - and for about four ~ five months, I just wallowed in self pity and that's all I'd think about. Forever alone, etc. etc. I think especially in American culture, we are bred to acquire pity when we are a 'victim' of anything.

    On one hand, I definitely agree victims need care, but only to a certain extent. There's only so much you can care for a person when it becomes apparent they aren't trying to recover. [And here comes some bigger triggers: rape. Please do not read the rest of this paragraph if you are sensitive about it. Please, I beg you.] I was on Post Secret one Sunday and saw that one of the postcards was of a girl holding up a sign that said she had been raped and she's getting over it, but American culture seems to demand that victims of her kind ALWAYS think about it. In a certain sense, I agree with that; browsing through Tumblr, while I've personally not experienced something to horrendous, I understand the horrors and perpetual fear these events can create, but - especially media - portray it as a life wrecker 100% of the time. Yes, it can be. But not always. There are BEAUTIFUL survivors that live on and I admire them so much. I would not be able to be that strong willed, admittingly. And here's the ignorant part: some people see any little detail and fly off the hook. Okay, I understand where you're coming from. Perhaps not with the same situation, but occasionally I'll see stories that relate to me on Tumblr and burst into tears. Okay. Okay. But the problem I /REALLY/ have with these situations is when they attack an entire group for that little detail. Understand that the internet is a vastly growing information and opinion source; one cannot always block out things, either because they aren't tagged right, etc. etc. However, unless someone is purposely shoving the triggers / worrisome things in a distressed person's face, I honestly do not see ground for the distressed person to get absolutely PISSED OFF at. I hope I explained that well; it's often hard to put my thoughts to word.

    Perhaps if I give an example: I am a supporter of LGBT rights. Often, I'll see two types of post: the passive opinions and the aggressive tackles. Examples of the passive opinions include "I don't like gays". Okay. I get that. It's just an opinion; we all have opinions. I don't like chocolate cake. Perhaps you do. I understand that 'gays' can be used 'nastily' some times, and that it's not just an object - they are human beings. But these are opinions and everyone is entitled to them. If I come across this line, I won't attack; how would I feel if someone attacked me for hating chocolate cake? And again, I recognize the stretch here. And the person is not actively rubbing that in my face. HOWEVER, if there are posts with slurs and messages meant to hurt and just hate, I think those definitely deserve retaliation.

    Augh, I can't phrase my thoughts.

    tl;dr I think certain things righteously deserve 'butthurt', but other aspects don't.

    I don't apologize for my opinion, but I do apologize if I have upset you; this was not meant to upset, but rather to vent about four months of built up frustration with certain people. Mostly strangers, which is the sad part. u__u Augh.

Saturday, 06 August 2011

  • "goodbye"

    Everyone has had to say 'goodbye' at some point in their life or another and my point is approaching soon because I'm headed off to college. I'm not going to say 'goodbye' though because I know at one-point-or-another, there's a high chance that I'll see my friends that I have right now. Whether it's at their honeymoon, at a restaurant, or in their shower - just kidding - I'll make it happen if I really want to see them. So for right now, I'll just say "see ya' later".

    But being absolutely realistic and down to Earth, there's a chance that we may fall out or even forget each other - hopefully not - so I know there's going to be, as my friend Jahan calls it, a 'fuckton' of regret if I don't say what I want to tell them now. Regret is an awful feeling, you must know: that permanent thorn in your face.

    Half of them might be offended because I was such a people pleaser. Half of them much be scared by my strange words and flee the country to avoid me. Half of them may blush or shove me away. Half will realize that this is incorrect math.

    Most of the things I want to say can be said easily. But then there's always one or two speeches that I just can't say because I can't seem to get it out. Even as I daydream about it or rehearse it in front of a mirror whilst stranded, alone, in an office, I can't get past "you.....". The worst thing is that what I have to say to those people are the most important and on top of my priority-list-of-stuff-to-say.

    They're the ones..... that........

    What should I do?



  • people i would - (incomplete list)

    If you haven't discovered JennaMarbles on YouTube, you're missing out. She recently made a video about people she's pretty much go HOMERUN with. Pretty inspiring. The big message, though, is to be completely honest with people, which is something that I've held close to me since @malestop 's last comment on my blog because it seems to make things better.

    But back to JennaMarbles. So perhaps I wouldn't run the diamond with these people, but perhaps dash to first base with.
    • Jenna Marbles
    • Chris Colfer
    • Alan Rickman
    • Daniel Radcliffe
    • Emma Watson
    • Emma Stone
    • Robert Downey Jr.
    • Joseph Gordon-Levitt
    • Leonardo DiCaprio
    • Lady GaGa
    • Katy Perry
    • Matt Tuck
    • Corey Taylor
    • Shane Dawson
    • Ray William Johnson
    • Mila Kunis
    • Ryan Reynolds
    • Brad Pitt
    • You
    • and maybe give or take a few more.
    I want my first kiss to be in the rain. or at least with someone special.


Thursday, 04 August 2011

  • that moment between awake and asleep

    To my absolute horror this morning, I got a text from one of my friends that I was Skyping, which read something along the lines of "You're going to regret shit [today]." And then it dawned on me; when the late hours approach but I'm forcing myself to stay up, there's this tendency to get a little.... 'loose' per se. While I remember bits and pieces of the night, such as me screaming "Ryan Reynolds has nice boobs" and "you're fucking beautiful" to someone which really didn't need to hear that (at least not from me, of all people), I apparently also 'awkwardly flirted' - according to the friend that texted me - with the other person in the conversation. This included, but is not limited to, me declaring that people should back off him and that he had a 'sexy' body.

    I over-reacted a bit at first because the colour drained from my face like the Titanic just sunk again or something. It's not that I really meant those things. Well, I did. But not in a flirty way; in like a friend-kidding way. I would totally not be freaking out if I didn't think he'd take it the wrong way and avoid me as of I were the Black Plague of Summer 2011. Why can't my sarcasm hit people in the face like a freight train? And I don't mean that literally. Sometimes.

  • trippy dream

    One of many, I suppose. A few days ago, I had a dream that I went to a friend's house, where he subsequently ditched me with another friend because a cyclops on a unicycle with an iron rod was chasing me. They went to get pizza.

    Today, I had a dream that I melted a pizza on top of a fire stove, which caused the cheese to drip into the holes where the gas comes out and the entire oven became a mess of bubbly, hot, oil-ness.

    It doesn't really help me case that, in retrospect, some of these dreams represent something that will happen in the future. Perhaps the cyclops-on-a-unicyle one may not com true, but it may one day present itself in real life where I discover that the hideous one-eyed monster symbolized a bumpy part of life which drives away people I bind closely to. Who knows. But I doubt it. However, this morning I tried to make ramen but forgot to place water into the pot to boil. I ended up cooking a metal pot, which started to burn because nothing was there to catch the heat; the pizza in my dream was actually a pot......

Shavanna

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    • Birthday: 10/29/1993
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